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心配しないでと言った replied in dylan long
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I started playing around with some of the scenes for my story. Basic over veiw of it is that my main character (Edith) is in line for thrown. In her land all royals have a special power, hers being a purple energy. Even though she is 18 she is still having a bit of trouble controlling it, meaning she killed her mother (the queen) with it. She runs away with Luke, a farmer who loves nature (he is the love interest), and ends up in this giant war. It is really complicated and I haven't really planned it out but I wanted to start playing with the characters and their reactions to certain situations, so I wrote out one scene in two different ways, please tell me which one you like more.

Version 1

"Why do you have to constantly tear my heart apart Luke?" I cried learning against the trees for support. I could feel my power working its way through my body, the purple energy screaming to get out.

"Because that is what I do best Edi, you wouldn't love me if I didn't drive you crazy, especially to point that you can't decide if you want to kiss me or throw me off a bridge" Luke said grabbing my hand and squeezing it. It was true, I loved him, but could never decide over the bridge thing. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. He touch was so light, so gentle. Purple energy leaked out of my fingertips, the tree that one of my hands was on started glowing and I jumped forward quickly. Why did I have to be cursed with this blessing?

Version 2

"Why do you have to constantly tear my heart apart Luke?" I cried learning against the trees for support. I could feel my power working its way through my body, the purple energy screaming to get out. Luke just turned away from me, not answering my question, Not that I really wanted an answer anyway. Things had changed between us, were not like what we used to be, we have secrets, secrets that we don't share. The energy surged through my bones and came out my hands before I had time to stop it. The tree glowed a bright purple and I jumped away quickly. Why did I have to be cursed with this blessing?


PurpleDragon